About a month ago, just as the kids returned to school and the pace of activity began to increase at work, I began to worry about the month of September.
Sure, there was some stuff I knew to expect. The slower pace of summer in northern New England gives way, suddenly and dramatically, to the hectic Fall schedule, when it's not just kids in schools but adults in their jobs and in their civic affairs returning to a long list of unfinished tasks and new demands. September comes, and it sometimes feels as though your neck has been snapped back with all of the email, phone calls, agendas, and to-do items in your planner.
But this September seemed even more ominous. I worried that a good many companies would be reporting third quarter earnings. I knew the Presidential race, and all of the other down-ballot races, would intensify. And sports -- that quiet metronome of middle class life -- would quicken with the end of the baseball season and the start of football.
September comes, and away goes the smell of suntan lotion, the lull of summer days, and the quiet chirping of crickets at night. It's suddenly cool and intense, quicker and a bit darker everywhere.
Of course, I had no idea September 2008 would be this rocky. I watched the Dow collapse yesterday afternoon over the course of a couple of meetings. Every time I refreshed my Internet browser yesterday, the Dow seemed to lose another 50 points. A week ago, I came home after a long day that began at 7am and end at 10pm, only to find the the nation's largest savings & loan (Washington Mutual) had collapsed and been sold by the Feds. Try reading that news on an empty stomach on a Thursday night at 10pm.
My generation of working adults has been incredibly lucky, maybe ridiculously so, in terms of their economic fortunes. Shortly after I entered the work force, the stock market collapse of 1987 occurred, but I was too green and naive to understand its meaning or, frankly, to feel its effect. The day I moved to Boston in August 1990, the headline of The New York Times read, "Recession Hits New England." I remember competing for temp jobs with laid-off workers from Bank of New England that Fall, and ultimately feeling very fortunate to get a job with Harvard before the snow fell that year. But even that recession was pretty mild. My family and I moved to northern New England in 2000, and I was focused on the entrepreneurial economy for much of my early career at Dartmouth. That Winter and Spring of 2000-2001 was pretty bleak for entrepreneurs, no doubt, but nothing compared to what we see now.
The past 30 days have been nothing short of extraordinary in terms of fast-moving national, economic, and political events. As an amateur blogger who tries to find time in the corners of the day or night to write a few semi-coherent sentences, it's been almost impossible to keep-up with the news, let alone consider or write a reasonable reflection in the past few weeks. One could easily apply the term "roller-coaster" to September 2008, but even such a term would hardly convey the sense of genuine danger, apprehension, and uncertainty which exists among some many Americans today. As a writer, and as a person, it's feels very strange -- as if we are in fast moving stream whose dimension and dangerous changes daily.
And so, at night, when I tuck my kids into bed, or in the evening as we chat over dinner, I find myself wondering what to say about all of this turbulence. I've shared a few comments and shown them a few headlines from the newspaper, but no matter what I share or say, nothing quite captures the uncertainty in my heart, or how that uncertainty ought to translate to them.
Aside from not wanting to worry them unnecessarily, part of this reticence also comes from not knowing myself what lies ahead. If past is prologue, what will October 2008 be like?
None of us really know, but in such times I find comfort and reassurance in small things. The chatter over breakfast. Laughter about a cartoon. Pride in a good grade. Complaints about my cooking. Indeed, in extraordinary times, the ordinary thing stands apart. Not as a false beacon of hope or encouragement, but as a reminder of both our humanity and of the small things which matter alongside the big things of the day.
I toss the ball to my dog at night. He retrieves it. I toss the ball again.
None of these simple joys change our economy, or our politics, or the prognosis for reforms that will ensure that the majority of Americans -- and indeed, the citizens of the world -- will see a better future.
All it does is keep me, and maybe a few other people, in the realm of hope. And in season such as this one, maybe that's enough.